exploring masculinity

EXPLORING MASCULINTY: CAN MEN CHANGE?


Here is one of my favourite stories, which gives me hope that men can change!
It was 1942 and Gandhi ji was addressing a press conference at his Ashram in Wardha. After every few moments he would say, “excuse me, gentlemen, I must go in for a few minutes.” He would then go into his hut and return after 8-10 minutes. After he did this for the third time, an irritated journalist asked why he was wasting their time-why couldn’t he finish the press conference and go in once and for all? Gandhi ji gently replied that he did so because his wife Kasturba was suffering from acute diarrhea and was too weak to go to the toilet.

As this story shows, Gandhi ji tried to strike the right chord between his mothering instincts and public duties. For him serving Ba, cleaning the Ashram toilets, spinning yarn was as important as leading the Nationalist Struggle against colonialism. Looking after and the upkeep of the essentials of his ill wife was in no means derogatory to the status of any man. Rather this is how Gandhi ji identified with the spirit of Mother Nature present in every human (read: man also). It is that very essence of “ardhanarishwara” which needs to usher in this world of He-Gods. And in the final analysis, it is those men who are able to balance their inner “man” and “woman” become great and immortal. Strong, macho, power-wielding men might be feared but they are not revered.